Struggling Atlantic City Casino Heroically Fends Off Rescue Attempt
ATLANTIC CITY — Owners and management of the Atlantic Club Casino are congratulating themselves today for bravely undermining a deal that would have restored their ailing New Jersey property to health.
“Today we issued an unequivocal message to companies who think they can swoop in and rescue gambling properties from the brink of total failure,” said Atlantic Club executive Mitchell Fawley.
“That message: Thanks, but we’re good.”
Following negotiations that started in October of 2012, international online poker giant PokerStars was set to purchase the ACC despite the casino’s ongoing operational losses and $30mm in unfunded pension debt.
But the owners of the ACC courageously dodged that bullet, using a contractual loophole as grounds for termination of the purchase that would have secured thousands of now at-risk jobs.
“What did PokerStars expect,” said the ACC’s Fawley, “when they offered to breathe new life into our used Kleenex of a casino, extending a lifeline to the thousands who rely on us to make a living? And at a point when no one in their right mind was even considering a purchase of any Atlantic City casino, let alone the ACC?”
“Did they think we would take them seriously?,” Fawley asked, chuckling visibly and shaking his head in disbelief. “Not on my watch, pal.”
New Jersey politicians were quick to heap praise upon Fawley and the ACC. “It’s not every day that you see someone pass up a chance to completely wipe clean up an unmitigated clusterf–k,” said State Representative Don Smutch (R – Marion). “That real takes guts.”
“Guts the size of these,” Smutch continued, cupping his hands and bouncing them up and down for emphasis.
Article credit: Staff