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December 3, 2013

Analysts Conclude Delaware’s Online Gambling Industry is Adorable

Delaware flagDOVER — After nearly a month in operation, industry analysts have issued their initial assessment of Delaware’s regulated online gambling market.

The consensus opinion: It’s absolutely adorable.

“It’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Kerry Coin, who covers gaming and hospitality for Goldman Sachs Group.

“Who’s the most bestest state-regulated online gambling industry?” Coin added. “That’s right, you are. Yes you are. Yes you are.”

Delaware, with a population just shy of 1 million, has had trouble attracting the player volumes of Nevada (population 2.7m) and New Jersey (population 8.8m) since launching online gambling in late October.

“Well isn’t that just the most precious thing you’ve ever seen,” gushed Morgan Stanley’s Brett Susserton as he reviewed Delaware’s online poker traffic numbers.

“Look, in the middle of the month they actually had enough people for a SNG. Awwwwww.”

Other analysts offered similar takes on Delaware’s burgeoning market for online gambling.

Eilers Research issued a note to clients characterizing Delaware as “just like a real online gambling industry,” while Felix Winwood of Barclays Capital said he wished he could “roll up Delaware and stick it in my pocket – it’s just that loveable.”

Where analysts differed was on the matter of how Delaware should spend the proceeds from taxing regulated online gambling.

“Obviously this revenue would be best spent on public works,” argued Joe Smickins of Crédit Suisse AG. “After a year there should be enough to replace ten stop signs. Maybe up to twelve.”

But others found Smickin’s plan too banal. “Let’s face it,” said Merrill Lynch’s Allen Tohmas, “Delaware would be better off spending their online gambling revenue on something the whole state can enjoy.”

“Like an XBox,” suggested Tohmas. “And, depending on how the year winds up, there might even be enough cash left over for a copy of Just Dance.”

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Article credit: Staff