alcohol and gamblingOK, so we don’t have an article to go with this headline. We tried to write one, but we failed. Sue us.

We can, however, share the other headlines we considered using to parody the now-infamous $1.8 million three-bracelet prop bet between Jason Mercier and Vanessa Selbst:

  • Investigation Shows Jason Mercier Is In Possession Of Time Machine
  • Jason Mercier Wins All Of The Plastic Bracelets In A Claw Crane Game
  • Vanessa Selbst Hires Voodoo Doctor In Last Ditch Attempt To Prevent Seemingly Inevitable Third Bracelet
  • In Alternate Universe, Man Allergic To Dogs Thwarts Jason Mercier’s Bracelet Wins
  • Friend Drunkenly Bets $4 Million That Jason Mercier Won’t Enter Another Poker Tournament
  • In High Stakes Showdown, Selbst Tries Erasies But Mercier Claims Double Stamp

Also read: FOLLOWING COLOSSUS SUCCESS, WSOP SCHEDULES THE BEHEMOTH FOR 2017

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