Las Vegas Homeless Stats Halved After UltimateBet Refund
Las Vegas, NV – Shocking developments out of Sin City this week as many of the city’s homeless are nowhere to be found. And the reason? UltimateBet.
As many Vegas residents have long since suspected, over half of the city’s 9,500 homeless were actually former poker players with most of their money tied up on UB and Absolute Poker.
UltimateBet and Absolute Poker were two of the biggest poker rooms in the world, which is incredible since sometimes their founders would just steal our money and then lie about it.
Comment: Las Vegas Mayor
“This is a great day for both our city and the state,” said Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman. “Life has dealt many of these individuals a losing hand, but things finally look to be turning around for them.
“Several of these citizens were down on their luck after taking too many shots at the nosebleed stakes and not diversifying their online balances onto other sites like Stars and Full Tilt.
“Finally, with these player refunds these citizens can return to the work force… at least until their degen ways return and we’re back in the same spot in two years. But until then, whoop whoop. Party in Vegas, y’all.”
Goodman then moonwalked out of the press conference room. It was strange.
Homeless profile: Adam Preston
One former pro, Adam “BigB23” Preston, has been homeless ever since 2013. Preston was never a losing player, but instead bought up several players’ balances after Black Friday hoping to cash in big when remissions finally took place.
Unfortunately, after spending $40,000 on said balances, Preston was dead broke and forced to beg for change under the bridge next to Caesar’s Palace.
But because he got such a good price on his buy-outs, that $40,000 is now looking to net Preston just over $535 million.
The homeless population also included many former members of Team UB. This doesn’t come as a shock to many however since most of Team UB was homeless well before Black Friday.
UltimateBet and Absolute Poker remissions
The refunds (or remissions) come as a welcome surprise six years after the events of Black Friday.
After PokerStars refunded their own players, the site then bought the bankrupt Full Tilt Poker to refund those customers as well. Now the leftover money is being spread to UB and AP victims.
In fact, if not for PokerStars, players likely wouldn’t have received their money from either UltimateBet or Full Tilt. Players across the globe have responded by completely ignoring this and boycotting Stars because they raise their rake sometimes.
The Las Vegas real estate market is also looking to capitalize on these remissions. Several former homeless have paid down payments on luxury homes that they will inevitably take out third mortgages on in two years.
When asked how it felt to go from homeless to millionaires overnight many of the former poker pros responded with the same word:
Article credit: Keith Woernle