Thee last online poker room deposit

Wilmington, DE Eric Jenkins, 43, has reportedly sworn up and down that his upcoming deposit to an online site will be his last. The married father of two believes that he has secured the answer to consistent winnings.

“It’s all about money management,” Jenkins said. “In the past, I always ended up putting my whole bankroll on a single table. This time, I’m gonna grind the micros.”

Jenkins has reportedly affirmed this oath to his wife, Darlene, and their two children. He has also told his two best friends, their wives, and everybody at work.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Darlene Jenkins sighed. “It’s like we’re going bankrupt 50 bucks at a time. He always comes into the bedroom three hours later with this look on his face, and I just know another deposit is gone.”

Mrs. Jenkins went on to say that Eric Jenkins often tries to blame his lost deposits on cheating players, rigged sites, or his own “rotten goddamn luck.” Jenkins acknowledged that he’d made such claims in the past, but that all those days are now behind him.

“I think I’ll be okay this time,” he said. “The hardest part will be playing good poker when a dollar is at stake. I mean, who gives a damn about a dollar, you know?”

There are unconfirmed reports that an informal office pool has begun around this “last” deposit. Jenkins’s coworkers are attempting to predict how soon the money will be gone.

“He always starts muttering about someone disrespecting his raises within 30 minutes. It’ll happen within 45 minutes” said Tom Fallion, Jenkins’ boss. “That, or I’m out fifty bucks too.”

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