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April 11, 2016

Optimistic Man Marks Office Calendar With Complete 2016 WSOP Schedule

Office CalendarLas VegasJeremy Schultz, 37, has marked off the dates on his desk calendar for every event scheduled as part of the upcoming 2016 World Series of Poker. Despite his meager salary as a claims adjuster, he has pledged to play what he calls “a full schedule” and expects to win at least two bracelets.

“I don’t see why not,” he said confidently. “All I need are the cards to break my way just a little bit.”

Our sources confirm that this is the third straight year that Mr. Schultz has made such claims. In 2013, Mr. Schultz apparently kept saying he was going to “run the table,” though when pressed for details, he would not elaborate. WSOP.com has no listing for Mr. Schultz in its player database, and one source revealed that Schultz has only managed to play in four side events over the last three years.

Administrative assistant Shari Conklin has her own opinion about Schultz’s annual activities.

“Lord, he must say something about it every day. On and on about how this is going to be the year, he’s going to win that one, and so forth,” she said, shaking her head. “I wish he’d let it go. I don’t understand how a grown man can be so obsessed with bracelets anyway.”

Schultz dismissed these claims as the ramblings of jealous co-workers.

“I’m off to get my wrist measured!” he exclaimed as the lunch hour approached. “Maybe I should go ahead and get a number for my forearm, too!

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Article credit: Staff