Doug Polk Sad

Everywhere – Wow. I guess you really never appreciate the good things in life ’til they’re gone.

Sentiments like that, talks of the good ol’ days, and nostalgic sighs were literally echoing all across card rooms last weekend as a bored poker community is sorta wishing Mike Postle would get to cheating again.

You don’t know what you got ’till it’s gone

“It’s just so boring now. My life has no meaning,” waxed a melancholic Doug Polk in his daily YouTube video. “Maybe he could just cheat a little bit. Just for old times sake. It doesn’t have to be at poker. It could be in a different card game. Or on his taxes. Or even on a test. Also if you like this video, make sure you subscribe.”

Mike Postle was accused of cheating three weeks ago after several videos surfaced of him cheating three weeks ago.

“I dunno, man. My life just feels a little emptier without him cheating all the time,” sighed a distraught Joey Ingram as he stared out his rainy office window. “How am I supposed to go back to my podcasts and promoting the-the-the-the-the-the great game of Pot Limit Omaha. Nothing matters anymore.”

Ingram, his breath fogging up the glass, wrote the letters CTO into the condensation before sulking off to his desk to a 96-hour live stream recap.

The poker world has been figuratively buzzing the past few weeks as several investigators try to formulate theories and ideas on just how Mike Postle was able to know the cards of his opponents. Theories range from microphones hidden in his cap, to a hacked live feed on his phone, to the idea that he one million percent wasn’t even cheating at all.*

So what now?

Nearly all poker podcasts have been devoted to the Mike Postle story, according to to the four people that listen to them. But with breaking news apparently drying up, what are poker players to do now?

“I thought about watching the World Series of Poker Europe, but then I remembered no one cares about it,” mentioned one player.

“Remember when Cat Valdes entering the wrong tourney was the biggest scandal in poker? Really takes me back,” whispered another.

“Maybe everyone should just start cheating on their own. That way we create our own stories. Be the change you want to see in the world,” wisely added another player.

Boycott PokerStars again!” shouted Dani Stern wearing a fake mustache.

One thing is for certain. Mike Postle’s cheating might have robbed his opponents, but his not cheating is robbing us all of entertainment.

* lol Mike Matusow wtf

Also read: Mike Postle To Be Inducted Into Poker Hall Of Fame

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