Guy loses AQ against Pocket Pair

San Jose, CA – Jesus Christ, calm down dude.

Last Thursday after losing a coin flip situation at his local casino, 54-year-old risk assessment manager Philip Dickerson completely lost his shit and acted like the entire world was coming to an end.

After buying in for $80 with four $20 bills, Dickerson was slowly whittled down to his last $26 before the following hand took place:

A young pro who simply goes by the name ‘Sneaks’ raised to $10 with pocket fours. The action then folded around to Dickerson in the small blind with Ace-Queen offsuit. Dickerson stood up and announced, “Well, it’s getting pretty late. I really should be getting home. Not sure what to do with this hand. I guess I might as well… GO ALL IN!”

Dickerson then shoved his whole stack in the middle, which he intended to be dramatic, but ended up being rather silly-looking considering he only had six individual chips left.

Sneaks called immediately and Dickerson started screaming for an ace like the Hindenburg was on fire. At no point during the entire all-in did Sneaks look up from his iPad.

When no card above an eight appeared, Dickerson launched into a series of curses that only moderately resembled English.

Shouts that he “may be the unluckiest person on this planet” and that “it just wasn’t fair” were overheard peppered into the soliloquy of profanity.

After going for a walk to clear his head, Dickerson returned to the table two hours later and immediately began complaining about the coin flip again. Every single player then decided to cash out and quit poker forever while the dealer tendered her resignation.

Moments later after buying into a new table for $40, Dickerson hit the bad beat jackpot and won over $600,000.

He was pretty excited until one last thought entered his mind…

“But it would have been $600,052 if I had one that damn coin flip!” he proclaimed. “Unbelievable.”

Also read: Five More Atlantic City Casinos Suing Phil Ivey Because “It Just Sorta Seems Like Fun”