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February 19, 2013

Harry Reid Finds Online Poker Bill in Stack of Old Mail

WASHINGTON D.C. — A lame duck mystery was solved today as Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) admitted to “misplacing” a bill intended to regulate online poker.

“I’ll get right to it,” said Reid at a hastily-assembled press conference. “At approximately 7:15 this morning, I found the online poker bill co-sponsored by myself and Senator Kyl in a stack of old mail.”

Reid confirmed his misplacement made passing the bill during the 2012 Congerssional lame duck session “impossible.”

“I thought Kyl had it,” said a sheepish Reid.

In response to questions, Reid said the bill had been “on top of his fridge” in a stack of mail from “around December 11th.”

“I brought the bill home and grabbed my mail as I came in. I believe there was … I believe a Jamba Juice coupon in the Value Mailer I wanted to save,”  Reid continued. “Then [NV Senator Dean] Heller texted me a Grumpy Cat, I don’t recall the caption. I guess that’s when I put the whole stack up there.”

Reid msiplaces online poker bill

Senator Reid Explains How He Misplaced Online Poker Bill and Jamba Juice Coupon

Asked for comment, Senator Heller’s office replied:

“The Senator shares many memes with many colleagues, including his favorites Grumpy Cat and Scumbag Steve. He cannot recall the particulars of the Grumpy Cat he sent to Senator Reid.”

Reid’s bombshell drew immediate reaction from the Poker Player’s Alliance. “Senator Reid must avoid these missteps in the future,” said PPA head John Pappas in a statement.

“That’s why we’re calling on all PPA members to call, tweet and email Senator Reid demanding he purchase some sort of mail sorter,” Pappas continued. “Or perhaps a file cabinet placed in close proximity to his front door.”

Article credit: Staff