poker table talk breaking comedy ground

Las Vegas, NV – The comedy world was literally set on fire this past weekend when low stakes grinder — and crafty wiseacre — Ted Webber asked if he could straddle during a hand of a tournament.

Stand-ups and satirists the world over literally pissed themselves after hearing some of Webber’s classic zingers and witticisms.

Wisecracks start early

It all started on the very first hand of the tournament. The guy in the big blind received a walk to which Webber exclaimed, “Look out everyone, we got a new chip leader!”

A moment or two passed before the table literally erupted with laughter because they had just heard the greatest joke of all time.

Not much later after checking down Ace-King, Webber’s opponent also flipped over Ace-King. Webber commented, “You play that junk?” before proceeding to wink at several people at the table. And that’s because Webber was joking because he’s hilarious.

But that was nothing. Shortly thereafter, Webber played an all-in pot by getting in AQ off-suit to AQ suited. However, always the cut-up, Webber let his opponent know that he (Webber) was actually the favorite because “I have two flush draws and you only have one!”

Wow, instant classic.

Table talk causes a stir

At this point in the evening, several players had to be transported to the nearby hospital because Webber’s jokes had literally caused side-splitting laughter. Now that’s what I call a real belly-buster!

Yet, it was all leading up to an even greater joke. Around 9pm that evening, while holding King-Eight on a K99-3-8 board, Webber announced, “Three pair!”

You see, Webber knew that only his two pair played, yet he said “three pair” anyway. And you see it’s because he’s hilarious is why. The tournament then took an impromptu break because the entire table was laughing so hard.

Editors Note: Players at the table took a break. The table itself wasn’t amused in the slightest.

But little did they know that when they returned Webber’s coup de gras would be waiting for them. The very first hand back, Webber looked the dealer straight in the eye and asked, “Can I straddle?”

And that did it. The roof literally blew off the building. No one in the entire casino could stop laughing. It was that funny. Tournament director Matt Savage had no choice but to declare the tournament over and equally award everyone first place money for no good reason.

Webber was then carried off by his fans into the sunset as they harmoniously chanted “Can-I-Straddle” over and over again. Ted Webber – what a character. What an inspiration.

Update: Yesterday Webber announced that he is retiring from poker and has signed on to co-write all of Adam Sandler’s new movies.

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