Poker Player in HoodieLas VegasJohnny “Night Train” Molina, a Las Vegas poker professional, has agreed to a $50,000 proposition bet in which he will attempt to live as a “normal” human being for one month. Our source close to the parties involved says that this bet has several components that Mr. Molina must accomplish over a 30-day period, which began on January 15.

In order to be declared the winner, Mr. Molina must:

  • Go to bed before the sun rises and wake up before it sets.
  • Sleep at least seven hours a night, but no more than twelve.
  • Carry no bills bigger than $20.
  • Have no more than 10% of his net worth on his person at any one time.
  • Bathe or shower rather than simply dousing himself in anti-perspirant spray.
  • Wear different clothing every single day.
  • Eat at least one meal that contains an identifiable vegetable.
  • Only use the word “sick” in the context of an actual illness.

It is rumored that Mr. Molina has already called to discuss terms for a buyout, as the stress of listening to drive-time radio and doing yoga in the morning has already begun to overwhelm him. We spoke with another regular player at Mr. Molina’s favorite cardroom, and he stated,

“He looks bad. All that sunlight, rest, fresh air, diet, and exercise have really taken their toll on him. You can’t just go from a Red-Bull-and-cigarettes lifestyle to this – his eyes are wide open and his skin has this weird sort of shine to it.

I guess he needs the money. If he keeps this up much longer, he may stop getting mistaken for a homeless man when he’s walking to his car.”