The Top 11 Lies Poker Players Tell Their Families At Thanksgiving

By Partick Spewing
April 2, 2022
Spending Time With Family at Thanksgiving as a poker player

Spending Time With Family at Thanksgiving as a poker player

Ah, Thanksgiving. That time of the year when we as poker players have to rack our brains to rehearse what we are going to say when Aunt Sharon asks if you have found a real job yet. Well, have you, Fedor?

In an exhaustive BonusCodePoker study conducted over the course of about 30 minutes, we interviewed hundreds of poker players (actually, just the two players that were sitting on either side of me at the $1/$3 table this morning) about what they plan on telling their families when they sit down for their belly-busting meal on Thanksgiving and *those* questions start flying.

1. I’d love to go play blackjack with Uncle Rick and see his system

This has got to be that elusive system I have been searching for! Plus, you’ll forget this invite by the time the pumpkin pie is served and I won’t see Uncle Rick until next Thanksgiving.

2. Yeah, I can tell what you’re thinking right now because you have a bad poker face

And I don’t need to be Daniel Negreanu to know that I might as well be speaking some foreign language like some idiot from Northern Europe.

Related: I always know what everyone has.

3. I’ll probably be on TV soon, actually

Only a white lie, as you’ve heard rumors they are going to send a film crew to next month’s $100 buy-in H.O.R.S.E. event.

4. I get health insurance through the casino

Partially true. Those nasty complimentary sandwiches are better than anything I would eat at home. That counts, right?

5. You’ll find operating rooms dirtier than most poker rooms

Of course, I wouldn’t spend all day in a dirty environment full of grifters.

6. I meet lots of potential dates at the tables

Thankfully, they don’t know enough about poker to understand that 98% of poker players are male. fml

7. I’m looking at getting into drugs

If they will see you as doing something that is equivalent to dealing drugs, at least they can probably relate better.

8. Yes, I want to sit at the kid’s table. They understand me there

Between talk of backpacking across Europe, the meteoric rise of their 401ks, and debate on the greatest president we have ever had, I don’t have a lot to add at the “main game” and, fortunately, this table isn’t a “must-move.”

9. Of course, I know the correct cards to hold in every situation at Jacks-Or-Better; I am a poker pro after all

They seem vaguely interested in this! How long can I stretch this out for before the conversation turns to my future plans. HOLD. HOLD. HOLD.

Related: I have teeth. I have health insurance.

10. I only play games where I have an edge – I always leave if the other players are good and never play table games or slots

That was my twin you saw at the craps table during $10 Friday Buffet night. They were chanting my name? … Oh, you’re my mom and I only have a sister?

11. That is a GTO way to eat that Thanksgiving meal

No gravy on the stuffing!? Amateurs.

ALSO READ: Stoyan Madanzhiev Challenges Winner Of Main Event To Title Unification Bout

BEST ONLINE BookmakerS IN the UNIted Kingdom
Bonus
Details
Play

BONUS CODE:
BET247
Bet365 Review
Min deposit £5
Bet £10 Get £30 in Free Bets
Sign up, deposit between £5* and £10* to your account and bet365 will give you three times that value in Free Bets when you place qualifying bets to the same value and they are settled. Free Bets are paid as Bet Credits. Min odds/bet and payment method exclusions apply. Returns exclude Bet Credits stake. T&Cs, time limits & exclusions apply. The bonus code BET247 can be used during registration, but does not change the offer amount in any way.
William Hill Sportsbook
William Hill
£30 in Free Bets
William Hill Review
Bet £10 and Get £30 In Free Bets
Credited as 2 x €15 bets
New Customers Only
GG POKER
GG POKER
Deposit Match up to $600
GG Poker Review
DEPOSIT £10 GET £60 FREE PLAY OR MATCHED DEPOSIT UP TO $600
Min Deposit: £10
New Customers Only
Betfred Bonus
Betfred Bonus
WELCOME40
Betfred Bonus Review
BET £10 GET £50

Deposit €10on Signup
7-day expiry
New players only

Important Disclosure

#AD – Bonus Code Poker is an affiliate of the brands we promote throughout this site. While we strive to maintain accuracy throughout our content, we do receive compensation for this promotion.

Bet365 bonus codes and no deposit poker bonus for UK players. Learn about Bet365 Free Bets, the new Bet365 Bet Builder, or the Bet365 live streaming schedule where bet365 players can watch tons of sports action for free. Check out the most popular Bet365 Bet Types with in depth explanations on how you can make these bets on the Bet365 online sportsbook. How Bet365 compares versus top online gambling sites including a Ladbrokes vs bet365 comparison.

Newmarket BOOSTS

Bet365 Bonus Code, Sports, Casino and Poker Sign up offers and News - All contents are © 2024  Bonus Code Poker

18+ Worried about your gambling?    Gamcare
When the fun stops – STOP!