Watching Rounders Pasttime

Austin, TX – “Pay heem. Pay that may his money.”

Such was the declaration from 23-year-old Anderson Wiggins this weekend at a local 7-Eleven. It was just another example of Wiggins showing off his rare and only talent.

Wiggins’s ability to quote the classic poker film has earned him countless laughs and smiles from his friends and even more countless rejections from employers.

“I don’t know how I got so good at it,” Wiggins told BCP this weekend in an exclusive interview.

“I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I have watched the movie roughly every week or so for the past 15 years. Also, might I add, I have an absolute shitload of free time because I am extremely unemployed.”

Rounders viewings almost eclipsed by job rejections

And Wiggins ain’t joking. Further investigation shows that he has been rejected from over 350 jobs.

“I guess you could say I’m pretty skilled at not getting to the second round of interviews,” added Wiggins who was somehow not being sarcastic. Seriously. Like, he sounded smug about it. How is that even possible?

Wiggins is a 23-year-old liberal arts major from the University of Texas at Amarillo, which just… yikes.

“I’m also not dating anyone right now because women are the rake,” he added.

BCP was able to get in touch with a local computer salesman named Aaron Copper who interviewed Wiggins a few months back.

“Yeah, I remember him,” said Copper. “He walks in and first thing he says is ‘This is beautiful. Welcome to the Chesterfield South. Come all the way to Atlantic City just to see your mugs, huh?’ I just assumed he was on drugs though since this is Austin and he’s a liberal arts major. But then the whole interview was like that! When I told him he probably wasn’t going to get the job he responded with ‘Oh, knowledge is my reward, sir.’ What a mope.”

The search continues

No one knows how Wiggins is managing to stay afloat while not working, but many suspect parental support. Anderson has also stated that he has plans on playing poker for money one day.

“I’m actually a pretty good little poker player myself. Round these parts I’ve even earned the nickname ‘Tex’ because of my skills.”

There’s really nothing we can say besides that both those statements are categorically not true.

After a lengthy discussion, BCP left the interview by telling Wiggins good luck in his job search. His response?

People insist on calling it luck.”

So nevermind.

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