Super High Roller personality

Vienna, Austria – Wow, shocking news this morning as a European poker player has announced absolutely shocking news this morning. German super high roller crusher Heinz Gerschwolt revealed that he fears he may slowly be developing a personality.

“The doctors say there’s nothing they can do,” he told reporters. “When I started playing high stakes poker at eleven months old, I thought I had a good temperament for the game. I never threw tantrums. I never went on tilt. I was able to keep a level head.”

However, after winning over 30 million Euros by the time I was 21, something strange happened. I started to feel what many would call joy. And then other times, I noticed other emotions like perhaps anger. I immediately plugged all of this information into my solver, but the computer didn’t have the answers. It… didn’t have the answers…

Experts wonder if anything can be done

Gerschwolt immediately consulted with the world’s top neuroscientists, psychiatrists, psychologists and anthropologists. The consensus was unanimous – he was developing a personality.

“Telling my parents was very difficult namely because it forced me to walk out of the basement and upstairs. There’s sunshine up there and it hurts my eyes. My mother was very understanding. My father, however, kept asking what the hell I was talking about. And he eventually went outside and chopped down a tree.”

Gerschwolt’s doctors say his personality is likely permanent, and that he will need to learn to live with it for the rest of his life. Another doctor noted that this was the dumbest conversation he had ever had. And yet another noted that he wasn’t even a real doctor at all. Just a butcher wearing a white coat, but he felt privileged to be consulted nevertheless.

Gerschwolt plans to continue to play poker, although he says he worries other high-stakes players will fake fun of him for emoting happiness when he wins tournaments, displaying sadness when he loses them, and also his lazy eye.

However, he says he knows the risks, and plans to tackle his personality head-on.

Editor’s note: This story was originally reported by The New York Times

ALSO READ: After Site Crash, Bovada Promises That All Bot Account Balances Are Safe

 

Bet365 Bonus Code
BONUS CODE:
BET247

Bet365 Review
Min deposit €5
Up to €100 in Bet Credits For New Customers at bet365
Min deposit €5. Bet Credits available for use upon settlement of bets to value of qualifying deposit. Min odds, bet and payment method exclusions apply. Returns exclude Bet Credits stake. Time limits and T&Cs apply. The bonus code BET247 can be used during registration, but does not change the offer amount in any way.
Ladbrokes
Ladbrokes
Ladbrokes Review
Get €20 When You Bet €5

Deposit €5 on Signup
Get €20
New players only
William Hill Sportsbook
William Hill
€30 in Free Bets
William Hill Review
Bet €10 get €30 in free bets
Credited as 2 x €15 bets
New Customers Only