The Internet – America’s Cardroom (ACR), a poker site which illegally operates in the USA, has had some pretty bad issues for the last decade this week.

The site ran a 2-day tournament beginning on Sunday, and day 2 was scheduled for Monday. So as you might imagine, players who made day 2 did the responsible thing: they called in sick from work, made arrangements to not have to take their kids to school, and they canceled life-saving doctor appointments. This is a lot of money, okay?

Monday arrived. In the morning, ACR sent out notices that things were moving ahead as planned… and after about 4 hours and a series of technical issues, the event was suspended “temporarily.” A few hours after THAT, the event was rescheduled to continue on Tuesday.

By Monday night (presumably, after many players had made arrangements to be available AGAIN on Tuesday…), the event was outright canceled.

If you’re curious how they handled the situation after the fact, here’s your answer:

Please note: don’t take our reposting of the above ACR correspondence as an endorsement, because sh*t like this happens ALL THE TIME there, no matter what their site reps say.

Players who are frustrated with the way this happened can file an official complaint with… no one, because ACR’s “license” with the Costa Rican government provides similar protection to players as a twice-used napkin.

But you certainly CAN unofficially complain on social media to the site’s best-known spokesperson – 2003 WSOP Main Event champion Chris Moneymaker.

Moneymaker speaks

We’re going to be honest – this article making fun of this situation was originally going to be titled “New America’s Cardroom Tournament Series Starts Whenever” (OK, it isn’t Pulitzer-worthy, but we’re a goddamn poker comedy site so cut us a break).

This morning, however, Chris Moneymaker sent out a series of tweets that we couldn’t help but anonymously mock. Thankfully, Chris doesn’t know how to thread Tweets, so we can easily reprint the fun parts:

2/?? I have zero knowledge of how programming works so I have no idea why these issue happen and hope they are limited. I do know that the entire team @ACR_POKER hates when it happens as much as you do. We are striving to give everyone a great poker experience

— Chris Moneymaker ⭕ (@CMONEYMAKER) May 26, 2021

3/?? I will also say this is the 2nd time this has happened since I became ambassador and it doesn't get easier. The guys working behind the scenes are doing a great job limiting the frequency of these events as they used to be a more common occurrence.

— Chris Moneymaker ⭕ (@CMONEYMAKER) May 26, 2021

So, to summarize:

1. Moneymaker has “zero knowledge of how programming works” and “no idea why these issue[s] happen.”
2. Despite that, he’s somehow capable of asserting that “the guys working behind the scenes are doing a great job limiting the frequency of these events.”
3. He also claims that screw-ups like this “used to be a more common occurrence”… yet “this is the 2nd time this has happened since [he] became an ambassador.”

Fact check: he became an ACR ambassador in February. OF THIS YEAR. AND IT’S STILL MAY. Should we collectively be applauding their tech team for getting major outages down to once every 5-6 weeks?

We haven’t actually reached out to Chris for a comment, but we couldn’t help but notice the similarities of his comments about “the guys working behind the scenes” and the “great job” they’re certainly doing to… another prominent figure. So rather than reaching out to Chris, here’s how we assume he’d reply.

“Oh, we’re doing lots of good things. Lots of them. Oh, you want me to explain? What kind of loser would ask a stupid question like that? You don’t even know how many great things we’re doing at ACR – you think there are outages now? Pfft, you should have seen how many there were BEFORE I joined the site.

And if I’m honest, I think there’s blame on both sides. If you look at both sides – I think there’s blame on both sides. Both the players who got screwed AND the site that did the screwing. And I have no doubt about it, and you don’t have any doubt about it either. And if you reported it accurately, you would say.”

We wonder if Moneymaker is regretting his decision to join ACR yet.

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