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BonusCodePoker | October 23, 2019.

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March 7, 2019

We Forced A Bot To Watch Over 100 Hours Of High Stakes Poker And Then Asked It To Write An Episode Of Its Own. Here Is The First Page

 

 

FADE IN:

A POKER ROOM MADE OF MONEY AND GAMBLING AND GABE KAPLAN

At a table poker players gamble at one another. Their arms are teaming with chips. Gable Kaplan talks but no one knows how.

GABE

Welcome to previously on HIGH STAKES POKER. Action is the show. Jokes are forever yours.

His jokes are your laughter. A new hand of poker deals. Daniel Negreanu makes four of the kind. All other players make a straight flush.

DANIEL NEGREANU

All have made the straight flush. I call indefinitely.

Daniel calls. Everyone has a straight flush. Daniel feasts upon old cabbage as punishment.

GABE (V.O.)

This reminds me of every actor.

AJ BENZA (V.O.)

Where is poker? The straddle is upon us.

Sammy Farha is eating an entire pack of cigarettes.

SAMMY FARHA
(cigarette crunching)

Let’s go. The gambling is serious today.

Tom Dwan and Phil Ivey stare at the poker table for 7 long months. Their mouths are open. Their mouths are open still.

A tall man enters named PHIL HELLMUTH. He loses all his money and his displeasure bursts asunder.

PHIL HELLMUTH
(tall)

Phil Hellmuth.

All players LAUGH at Phil Hellmuth for being tall and Phil Laak talks until he EXPLODES.

An old IMMORTAL man is sitting at the table. He is DOYLE BRUNSON. Doyle is playing PROPS with Eli Elezra.

DOYLE BRUNSON
(oldly)

I have doubles.

ELI ELEZRA

Here are my triples.

DOYLE BRUNSON

That’s me. I created poker.

Nothing can stop their props. Their props are too powerful.

A BALD man named Guy Laliberte enters. He is made of money and CANADA.

GUY LALIBERTE
(speaking fluent French)

Here is my circus money.

But no one can understand him. Jamie Gold bluffs.

 

Also read: New PokerStars Game Furnace Just A Virtual Fire to Throw Money Into

Article credit: Keith Woernle