Hey there, folks at home! Here’s a simple recipe for winning at Twitter from David “Viffer” Peat.

Estimated prep time: 1 day
Difficulty level: Low
Serves: One

Related: How to get your ass whupped in public, also via David Peat.

Step 1: Take one cup of Dan Cates calling out Tom Dwan over dumb challenge no one cared about to begin with


Step #2: Blend in a pint of cryptic response and a pinch of “dick things”


Step #3: Add Viffer (to taste). Bake for several hours


Step #4: Coat lightly with promise to “slap your cheating ass”


Step #5: Remove from oven. Serve cold.


And that’s how you make a Viffer Twitter Win!