Hey there, folks at home! Here’s a simple recipe for winning at Twitter from David “Viffer” Peat.

Estimated prep time: 1 day
Difficulty level: Low
Serves: One

Related: How to get your ass whupped in public, also via David Peat.

Step 1: Take one cup of Dan Cates calling out Tom Dwan over dumb challenge no one cared about to begin with

Step #2: Blend in a pint of cryptic response and a pinch of “dick things”

Step #3: Add Viffer (to taste). Bake for several hours

Step #4: Coat lightly with promise to “slap your cheating ass”

Step #5: Remove from oven. Serve cold.

And that’s how you make a Viffer Twitter Win!

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