Matusow Suffers the Worst Slowroll Ever, Thank God

By Sledge Hammer
July 21, 2020

Mike Matusow slowroll
LAS VEGAS – Just weeks after his epic flameout and offensive rant in the WSOP, Mike Matusow has reportedly suffered one of the worst slow rolls in the history of poker. Thank god. We couldn’t be happier more horrified about this incredible payback for years of obnoxious nonsense breach of poker etiquette that has befallen “The Mouth.”

The Hand

According to eyewitnesses, Matusow and his opponent, Terry Jennings, were playing in the Bellagio’s recently reopened $25-$50 no-limit hold’em game. Matusow who refused to wear a mask and intentionally moved closer to opponents when he needed to cough was reportedly stuck for about $10,000 when the fateful hand appeared. He had, by his own admission to anyone within earshot, decided to “slum it” in the mid-stakes game, which others in the room suggested was the highest stakes he’s played in years, because of a lack of other options.

Just Matusow and Jennings were still in a hand by a river that completed the board – 5♦ 6♦ T♠ J♣ 8♦.

Matusow, first to act, confidently asked Jennings if he wanted to go all-in. Jennings appeared not to hear The Mouth, and his non-response led the piece of trash volatile poker star to immediately shove his stack into the middle of the table.

Jennings went into the tank. Matusow’s shove for about $11,000 would cripple Jennings down to a few hundred dollars if he called and lost. So, it made sense that the recreational player decided to take his time.

He began muttering to himself and appearing to count on his fingers. At one point, he seemed to replay both his actions and Matusow’s bullshit plays, whispering things like “you raised, then I called..then the Jack…then you bet…”

One minute turned into five, and then began approaching ten. Matusow, growing impatient, called the clock on Jennings. Jennings, looking pained, immediately asked for a chip runner.

With about thirty seconds to go, the casino employee appeared, and asked Jennings if he needed any chips. Jennings told the runner to wait a second, then said “I call.”

Matusow turned over his cards – A♦Q♦ – with a laugh that made you just want to punch his damn face off slight grin. His Ace-high flush seemed destined to win.

Then, Jennings looked at the chip runner and said,

“No, no…HE’s the one who needs chips,” and pointed at Matusow. Then, he turned over his 7♦9♦ for the straight flush.

The Aftermath

For a moment, according to our sources, you could hear a pin drop in the noisy casino. It “seemed like the air had been sucked out of the room.”

Then, Matusow began cursing, foaming, and ranting at Jennings. He called him every name in the book, and once those were exhausted, he invented a few new ones for good measure, although we can’t repeat them here even if we wanted to because they were largely incoherent.

Jennings, for his part, sat quietly through The Mouth’s tirade, then asked the dealer for the floorperson. After all, Jennings had slowrolled the shit out of him would not tolerate verbal abuse from another player.

Long story short, Jennings won a pot worth over $30,000. Matusow, who initially received a warning for his language from a giggling floorman, ended up receiving a two-month ban from the property after refusing to calm down and being aggressively thrown out by security while screaming about his WSOP bracelets tussling with security.

We here at BonusCodePoker would like to celebrate like it’s the birth of our first child extend our deepest condolences to Mike Matusow for his ill-fortune.

ALSO READ: Learning Of GGPoker Crash, PokerStars CEO Remarks ‘Pity,’ Sips Drink, Smiles Softly While Staring Across Ocean

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