Bill Perkins alledges cheating scandal panic

Las Vegas or wherever – Wow, the poker world was shocked this week when the cheating scandal of the decade became just the cheating scandal of the year and then sorta became this empty story people talked about instead of cleaning out the garage like they said they would.

The hype was truly spectacular for this particular scandal, but its crescendo kind of whimpered out like one of those fireworks that screams for a while but never explodes and then just lands in the ditch to be picked up by some guy doing community service later.

Where were we? Right, Daniel Cates ghosted someone’s account, maybe.

How we got here

The hoopla all started with a tweet from professional rich person and poker player Bill Perkins.

Perkins (70, but ages backwards like Benjamin Button) announced to the Twitterverse that this latest scandal would make the Mike Postle cheating scandal look like church service.

Poker players the world over began breathing heavily as if they had just walked up one stair in anticipation of the news. The King of Instagram himself Dan Bilzerian then outed Daniel Cates as the culprit that Perkins was referring to.

After his afternoon orgy atop his flying yacht, Bilzerian was able to sit down with us for an exclusive interview.

“I can’t believe I’ve been cheated out of my hard-earned money! I have to be the unluckiest guy on the planet!” Bilzerian exclaimed.

Poker historians will remember that Daniel Cates was also linked to the Ghira ghosting scandal from like ten years ago. That scandal involved Lock Poker and this big promo where Dan played under some Brazilian guy’s account or something, but no one made much of a fuss because it was before Cates was really established and Lock Poker was the Nigerian prince of poker sites.

Poker historians may also recall that there’s no such thing as a poker historian.

Reactions from poker’s greatest

And while this story is still developing, many pros took to Twitter to express their displeasure that the scandal wasn’t more exciting.

“This scandal will in no way warrant 20 full investigation videos, but I will do them nonetheless!” noted Joey Ingram.

“I gotta say, I’m hard-pressed to blame Negreanu for this, but I gotta try,” tweeted Doug Polk.

“Guess what!? I’ve never cheated on my wife!” contributed Phil Hellmuth.

“Ghosting has always fascinated me, but only because most of my friends are ghosts,” added Doyle Brunson.

Cates’ guilt or innocence may still be up in the air, but one thing is for sure. We haven’t heard the last of this scandal.

Unless we have.

We will be updating the story as it develops. (Editor’s note: No, we won’t.)

Also read: As Players Have Suspected, New Study Confirms You Get More Walks With Pocket Aces

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