Lansing, MI – Wow, talk about a real entrepreneur. Darren Davis, 38, is finally doing something a lot of people can only dream of. He’s dropping everything so he can finally lose money by becoming a crypto currency trader.
Davis had been struggling as a poker pro for almost the last ten years. After making a WPT final table in 2007, Davis has had difficulty finding big scores in the ever-changing poker landscape.
But after discovering Bitcoin, Davis knew that if he truly applied himself, he could also lose money there too.
No one in the entire world has any idea what Bitcoin is. It’s apparently a currency that the internet invented on its own one day simply to confuse your grandmother (don't even get us started on NFTs). People aren’t actually using bitcoins to buy things like hats or bicycles or what have you. Rather traders are owning the cryptocurrencies themselves and keeping them as investments since they continue to be worth increasingly more against the US Dollar.
Ever since finding out about cryptocurrency, Davis literally won’t stop talking about it until you punch him right in the face.
“The first thing I’m gonna do is set up an account at Coinbase,” noted Davis. “I’m gonna use that as my foundation. And from there branch out into Binance where I plan to invest heavily into the alt-coin market. My favorite alt coin is Cardano which -“
Darren continued to rattle on in-depth about alt coins, not realizing that we at BCP had walked away several hours earlier.
The crypto market both literally and figuratively exploded over the last year turning every single person on this earth into a smug asshole.
Cryptocurrencies work because of something called “blockchain” technology. For those who don’t know, blockchain technology is a series of “block” systems that protect your money by encrypting your information into a series of isometric neural-net processors. By utilizing retrograde hydroelectric spectrometers, blockchain currencies can bypass traditional data mainframes and reroute most analytic systems therefore keeping your money secure.
That sounds right.
After one week of trading Davis has shown a profit of around $11 US Dollars, despite reading and talking about Bitcoin for upwards of 87 hours since Sunday. Experts predict that after having another successful week, Davis will subconsciously decide that he is a financial wunderkind and spend even more time e-mailing his friends articles that they don’t want to read.
Davis plans to trade crypto full-time until the market finally crashes, which he and the entire poker community will blame on Chris Ferguson.
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