Parody Poker News

Phil Hellmuth “Apologizes” For Inappropriate Rant… Before Getting Revenge

Joe Krisberg October 14, 2021

Phil Hellmuth's apology apparently did not close the door on "burn-this-place-down-gate."

FiveThirtyEight Followers Erupt Over Nate Silver Losing Guaranteed Bracelet With 2:1 Chip Lead

Joe Krisberg October 12, 2021

538 critics are asking how it's possible that Nate Silver could have a 2:1 chip lead at the WSOP Limit Hold'em Championship and still manage to lose.

Casino Employees Event Now Open To Anyone, But Be Prepared To Deal

Joe Krisberg September 29, 2021

World Series of Poker officials have announced an ingenious idea to address the ongoing WSOP dealer shortage.

“I’m Going To Win Two Bracelets This Year” Says Man Who Just Finished Phil Hellmuth’s “Play Poker Like The Pros”

Joe Krisberg September 23, 2021

This player just read "Play Poker Like The Pros." Next step: World Series of Poker glory.

15 Poker Players Die Of Hypothermia While Playing At Rio

Keith Woernle September 15, 2021

In what officials are calling the worst tragedy to hit Las Vegas since the Epic Poker Tour, over a dozen poker players froze to death in the Amazon Room.

WSOP To Allow Unvaccinated Players To Come Pay Rake Then Leave

Joe Krisberg September 3, 2021

Good news: the WSOP has a solution for unvaccinated players to participate in the 2021 WSOP -- pay the rake, then leave.

Bobuonic Plague Vs Legionnaires' Disease

WSOP Players Excited to Trade Legionnaires’ Disease For The Bubonic Plague

Joe Krisberg August 11, 2021

After a new venue for the 2022 WSOP was unofficially confirmed, players weigh which serious disease they like best.

New TwoPlusTwo Owner Hand2Note Begins Work On Other Ways To Remove Fun From Poker

Joe Krisberg July 23, 2021

Plans include a book titled "How to Piss Off Opponents Even When Not in a Hand" with contributions from Men Nguyen, Mike Matusow, and the Ghost of Eskimo Clark.

Debate On If Online Bracelets Should Count Settled By No One Noticing Six Already Given Out

Joe Krisberg July 9, 2021

If six WSOP Online bracelets have been awarded so far and nobody noticed, do they actually really count anyway?

Definitely Not Sexist Poker Fans Suggest Vanessa Kade Drop Sponsorship Over Phil Nagy’s Comments

Joe Krisberg June 18, 2021

After ACR CEO Phil Nagy made sexual harassment comments, definitely-not-sexist poker players determine the best course of action is for Vanessa Kade to resign.

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