WSOP Players Excited to Trade Legionnaires’ Disease For The Bubonic Plague

By Partick Spewing
March 25, 2022

Bobuonic Plague Vs Legionnaires' Disease

Poker players are becoming increasingly excited about the return of live World Series of Poker action — which, assuming the pandemic doesn’t kill us all — should happen in late September. And the 2022 WSOP will not be held the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino. Good.

In a sign that poker media can be a disappointment at times, none of the typical poker news sources broke the story that the World Series of Poker would be moving to its first new home since 2005. Instead, it was the Valley National 8-Ball League Association that managed to scoop the biggest news about the WSOP venue in over a decade, literally by accident:

VNEA 8-Ball WSOP

The Rio has, in our view, worn out its welcome after years of players putting up with over-zealous self phone charger guys, hypothermia-inducing temperatures and Legionnaires’ disease outbreaks from the running water. Of course, Paris is not without its problems…

Bring on the Bubonic Plague

In late 2020, parent company Caesars blamed rodents as the cause of a power outage at Paris. We asked one poker player’s thoughts on the rumored move, and he firmly stated “I’ll stare the Bubonic Plague in the face if it means the Rio doesn’t claim another Legionnaires’ victim.” (editor’s note: nobody died)

Perhaps a bigger concern about the newly rumored location isn’t the next pandemic or plague, but where the hell players are going to park their cars.

“I’ll be damned if I am going to have to use just one handicapped space next year,” said 6-time bracelet winner Daniel Negreanu.

Six places the WSOP could move to

While rumors are heavy that Bally’s/Paris will be the new home of the WSOP, our conversations with Caesars Entertainment executives have revealed that several other Caesars-owned locations are also still being considered:

  • The Linq. It has all of the negatives of Bally’s/Paris with the added bonus that seemingly everyone who has stayed there has a story about getting checked into a room with somebody else’s stuff already in it.
  • The parking lot behind The Linq. Tents full of poker tables in 90-degree heat would be a surefire way to alleviate player complaints about the frigid Rio air conditioner.
  • Caesars Palace. Tournament fees and cash game rake would have to increase 3x to justify the pricier space, but players love higher rake, right?
  • The Cromwell. The Cromwell may not be big, but it sure is empty.
  • The Flamingo. Just in case the smell of thousands of poker players at the Rio wasn’t intense enough, The Flamingo would add nearly 75 years’ of cigarette smoke to the equation.
  • The Eldorado in Reno. There are already plenty of complaints about accommodations made to poker players at the WSOP, but nothing would add a cherry on top of that list quite like a move to Reno – a mere 7-hour drive away from Vegas.

ALSO READ: New TwoPlusTwo Owner Hand2Note Begins Work On Other Ways To Remove Fun From Poker

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