Parody Poker News

Poker Player Can’t Wait to Start Podcast Absolutely No One Will Listen To

Keith Woernle May 27, 2017

The podcast episodes are expected to be released every other day for two weeks, then once a month for a couple months, and then to disappear completely.

Dmitri Nobles Merchandise Not Selling As Hoped

Keith Woernle March 27, 2017

Former WSOP Main Event Day 3 chip leader Dmitri Nobles is baffled that his celebrity poker status is not fuelling merchandise purchase online.

Matusow and Sheikhan Announce Grudge Match, No One Cares

Joe Krisberg March 13, 2017

Alleged poker pros Mike Matusow and Shawn Sheikhan are set to compete for $100 in a closet at the Gold Spike Casino in Las Vegas. Twitter isn't that fussed.

PokerStars Remove Fold Button When You Can Call

Matt Perry December 15, 2016

The latest update to the PokerStars software removes the fold button entirely whenever you have the option to call in order to protect recreational players.

Phil Hellmuth Announces Bid For 2020 Presidential Election

Matt Perry November 11, 2016

"It’s clear you don’t need political experience, a realistic manifesto or even a basic level of human decency to get into the White House,” Hellmuth said.

Elton Tsang Revealed To Be Fedor Holz In Disguise

Matt Perry October 17, 2016

In a shocking turn of events in Monte Carlo, Elton Tsang left the casino with €11m, dropped his fake limp and revealed himself to be poker pro Fedor Holz.

“You Caught Us,” Rigged Online Poker Site Tells Player Who Lost With Best Hand

Matt Perry August 17, 2016

After a $3 tournament player lost with the best hand not once but twice, he accused a large online poker site of rigging their shuffle. They admitted it.

Poker Player Tells Wife The Foreclosure Is “Just Variance”

Joe Krisberg April 26, 2016

An Atlantic City poker pro is assuring his family that the foreclosure on their home is "just variance" and that basic math suggests his luck will change.

Introducing Holdem Omega: The Next, Next Generation Of Poker

Robert Ireland February 17, 2016

A new poker variant has been introduced. Other than new cards, complex rule changes, and completely changed strategy, the game is basically Texas Hold'em.

Prop Bet Booked On Whether Poker Pro Can Be A Normal Human Being

Robert Ireland January 27, 2016

A Las Vegas-based poker pro has booked a bet on whether or not he can act like a "normal" human for a period of one month. We wish him luck.

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